Being a hockey mom while married to the Coach is sometimes a very challenging situation. Having to play duel sides and keep both my husband and son from “hating” each other can be taxing on my emotions. My husband has played or coached hockey for his entire life. He’s won Coach of the Year at a high level, he’s won championships multiple times, and he also works for a professional junior team as a scout, helping to build their team. So, to say that he knows what he is talking about when it comes to hockey is sort of an understatement.
My son is eight years old, trying to find his way, learning new things every day, and when he looks at my husband he doesn’t see everything that he is. He sees his dad. When his dad is “yelling” at him for his play or his lack of effort he, understandably for his age, can’t compartmentalize his dad from his Coach. As a wife, I must support my husband, the Coach, and back him as he tells our son what he needs to do, knowing that he knows better than I do. But as a mother, I have to be the “good cop” and comfort my son when the Coach isn’t looking.
Hockey is a very cut throat sport. I have seen it get worse over the years, growing up with two brothers who played their entire lives as well. I obviously want what is best for my son, and I want my family happy. It breaks my heart to have my husband be mad at our son over a sport, and it breaks my heart even more for my son to feel like he isn’t good enough – at the age of eight. Teaching him to always give 100% is all that I can do, and we have to hope that at the end of the day, he’s happy with the effort that he’s given.
I know that most moms play the middle man in their houses, and I commend all of us for having to be put in these situations, and coming out on the other side with both men in our lives still loving us. I don’t think as women we get enough credit for the situations that we are put in. We put our family before us at every turn, silently supporting everyone. It’s not easy, it’s not always fun, but it is rewarding when you know that you have tried your best, and you have a happy family.